父親知你愛他嗎?直至看到這張照片前，我不敢相信小時候的我竟敢用圓規刮花父親的車，媽媽說父親發現時嚇了一大跳，但倒沒有狠狠地教瞓我，而是對我這個頑皮又直率的傢伙哭笑不得，還用相機拍下照片⋯⋯當天，是我所認知的首個父親節。
「三分天注定，七分靠打拚，愛拚才會贏。」父親最愛哼這首歌，他真的很愛拚，父親節去拚、生日去拚，連沙士時也出去拚，拚多一點，望賺足那七分錢。他一年只有三日例假，初一初二初三，那是我最期待的親子活動——搓湯圓。一包糯米粉、兩片片糖、兩對手，我倆拿著粉糰搓呀搓，父親會用刀把片糖𠝹成小立方，啪一聲逐一分開，傳到我手心，就成了湯圓的餡，我倆很有默契，卻從不怎交談。
30歲那年，我因工作快將搬出去，那年搓湯圓時，父親叫我試試自己用刀𠝹片糖，片糖表面又硬又滑，要𠝹出直線原來很難，父親在旁看著我驚險地滑了幾次刀，始終沒有出手幫我。那次的湯圓從搓粉到煮熟，幾乎由我一個人完成，心想以為父親會吃著甜，卻依舊面無表情。那天晚上，父親把我叫到他的房間，從他頸上脫下戴了幾十年的金頸鏈，「頸鏈是留給你的。」，然後幫我戴上。我覺得很重，不願收下，直到聽到他哽咽，我只好低著頭說了聲「謝謝」。那好像是我出生以來第一次正式感謝他，人愈大，愈難把心裡話說出口，吵架時衝口而出的惡言倒是不少。
搬家前的一晚，我在書檯上寫了一封給父親的信：「老豆，明天起我要獨立了。一直以來我們甚少聊天，別人說潮洲男人都是硬漢，但每次我們搓湯圓時，我總能透過麵糰感受到你的溫度。每年到了父親節及你的生日，你總是以工作為由推掉我的邀請，漸漸我也不敢對你說心底話，只好透過文字向你表達。回想起來，原來我從小到大也未曾親口對你說過感謝的話，這一刻忽然有著千言萬語不知怎樣跟你講。翻查我們的舊照，發現了這張相時嚇了一跳，笑了，也哭了，原來3歲的我跟30歲的我從沒變過，大概這就是一開始我想向你表達的全部。」
這個父親節，如果你想用一個不一樣的方式跟父親表達愛意，試試用這個AR Filter在他的車身上留下訊息，拍下照片，傳給他，藉此打開話匣子，跟他說說心底話吧，愛要說出口。
Father, do you know I love you?Until I saw this photo, I couldn't believe the young me dared to scratch your car with a compass. Mom said you were startled but didn't scold me harshly. Instead, faced with my mischievous self, you were at a loss and even took a photo with your 135 film camera...That day marked my first recognized Father's Day.
"Three parts fate, seven parts hard work, only those who strive will win." You loved humming this song and were a true hard worker. On Father's Day, your birthday, even during the SARS outbreak, you went out to work, striving for a little more, aiming to earn those seven parts of money. You only had three days off a year, the first three days of the Lunar New Year, which I looked forward to for our father-son activity: making tangyuan together.One pack of glutinous rice flour, two pieces of sugar, two pairs of hands. We rolled the dough, you skillfully cut the sugar into small cubes, passing them to me as the filling. We had a tacit understanding but hardly ever talked.
When I was 30, about to move out, you asked me to try cutting the sugar cubes myself. The surface was hard and slippery, and cutting a straight line was difficult. You watched as I almost slipped several times but never intervened. That time, from rolling the dough to cooking the tangyuan, I did it almost all by myself, thinking you would enjoy the sweetness, yet your expression remained unchanged.That evening, you called me into your room and took off the gold necklace you'd worn for decades. "This necklace is for you," you said, helping me put it on. It felt heavy, and I hesitated until I heard you choke up. I bowed my head and said, "Thank you." It seemed like the first time I'd formally thanked you. As we grow older, it becomes harder to express what's in our hearts, though there have been plenty of hurtful words in arguments.
The night before I moved out, I wrote you a letter:
"Dad, from tomorrow onwards, I'll be on my own. We've rarely talked. People say Chaozhou men are tough, but every time we made tangyuan, I felt your warmth through the dough. Every Father's Day and birthday, you always used work as an excuse to decline my invitations. Gradually, I stopped daring to speak my mind to you, resorting to writing instead.Looking back, I realize I've never directly expressed gratitude to you. At this moment, I have thousands of words but don't know how to say them. Seeing this old photo startled, made me laugh, and cry. I realized the 3-year-old me is no different from the 30-year-old me. Perhaps that's all I wanted to express from the beginning."
This Father's Day, if you want to express your love differently, try using this AR Filter to leave a message on his car, take a photo, and send it to him. It might open up a conversation and give you the chance to speak from your heart. Love should be expressed.
